We Have a Winner!

The winner of the Masters of Horror DVD giveaway has been selected and will soon be receiving John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns. Congratulations to our winner and many thanks to all those who entered. I hope to be announcing another contest soon.

A Tagline With Which I Must Take Issue

OK, this one's been stuck in my head for thirty years, and now that I have a forum for it I'm going to vent. The 1976 remake of King Kong, directed by John Guillermin and produced by Dino De Laurentiis carried the tagline "The Most Exciting Original Motion Picture Event of All Time!"

Now, the film had many problems, not least of which being that it was an embarrassment to giant monsters worldwide. Godzilla weathered it well, but I understand lesser known Kaiju like Yongary and Hedorah didn't work for years as a result. Mothra ended up getting hooked on inhalants and had a number of close calls with a can of Raid, and Rodan fell into Giant Monster Porn (man, you REALLY have to see it) just to make ends meet.

With that in mind, it's easy to see how the tagline issue could be overlooked, but I ask you how can a REMAKE be described in any way as "an ORIGINAL motion picture event?" It's not hyperbole. It's not overstatement. It's flat out incorrect. This has stuck in my craw for more than a quarter century, despite the fact that I don't know where my craw is or even what its function might be. I need to cleanse my craw, and I'm hoping this posting will help.

Wow. I feel better already. Gotta run now. I've got some friends coming over and we've just rented Large Lizards in Lust.

Thanks for listening.

Grave of the Vampire (1972)

"I crawled the floors of hell to face you!"

Grave of the Vampire (a.k.a. Seed of Terror) is a low budget gem from a time when cinematic vampires were migrating from the storm-shrouded castles of Europe into contemporary society. The gothic Hammer style vampire had fallen out of favor, giving way to the likes of Count Yorga, Barnabas Collins, and Blacula. Even Hammer itself brought their trademark monster Count Dracula into modern times with Dracula A.D. 1972 and The Satanic Rites of Dracula. While largely a forgotten film, Grave of the Vampire has been a personal favorite for years and deserves to be better known.

Two young lovers, Leslie Hollander and her boyfriend Paul leave a fraternity party for some quiet time together. Since their destination is a fog shrouded cemetery in the middle of the night, it's easy to predict that things will not end well for the pair. While Leslie and Paul make love in the back seat of Paul's car, we see the lid of a nearby crypt creak open, and Caleb Croft crawls out into the open air for the first time in three years. We later learn that Croft was a serial rapist and murderer who died while being pursued by police, but Croft is just one of the names used over the centuries by a vampire originally known as Charles Croydon. Croft rips the car door from its hinges and, bearing his fangs, drains the blood from Paul. Croft then drags the hysterical Leslie into a nearby open grave and rapes her.

Leslie survives the attack and soon learns she is pregnant. She is overjoyed at the thought of having Paul's child, but when she learns that the newborn infant will only drink blood and not milk, the identity of the father becomes apparent. The child, named James, grows to adulthood with a fierce desire to destroy the creature that assaulted his mother and ultimately brought about her early death. James tracks the creature to an American University where he is teaching a class on the occult under the name of Adrian Lockwood. To confirm that Lockwood and Croft are one and the same, James enrolls in Lockwood's class. Two of James's classmates, Anita and Anne, have eyes for James, but Anita also suspects Lockwood's true nature and seeks a relationship with the Professor to assure her own immortality.

Few would argue that Grave of the Vampire is a masterpiece. Much of the dialogue is overwrought. Anne's discussion with James of their blossoming relationship, for example, is so flowery as to induce hay fever. Most of the actors are at least competent with the notable exception of William Smith as James who comes off as a complete stump, except during the film's climax in which he over emotes to the point of embarrassment. The role called for a degree of subtlety that Smith lacked.

One of the film's greatest strengths is the performance of Michael Pataki as Caleb Croft/Charles Croydon. His dialogue is just as over the top as everyone else's, but he makes it work, coming off as an immortal fiend with a God complex. Kitty Vallacher also gives a strong performance as Leslie, showing equal strength as both a shrieking victim and a strong-willed and protective mother. The opening scene in the graveyard sets a creepy ambiance that holds throughout the picture. Grave of the Vampire may not be a masterpiece, but as a drive-in era horror flick it's one of the best of its kind.

The vampire as serial rapist scenario is, to the best of my knowledge, unique to this film. The sexuality of vampires is a subject that has been beaten to death, but since the relationship between vampire and victim involves close physical contact, penetration, and an exchange of fluids, one need not be a student of Freud to see the obvious. Rape/revenge films were not uncommon in the 1970's, so the mixing of this theme with the vampire genre is not so hard to imagine. Still, Croft/Croydon's status as a rapist serves its purpose by making a time worn movie monster all the more horrific for a modern audience, and the scene in which Leslie is assaulted, though not graphic, is very disturbing.

While I'm grateful that Alpha Video has made this obscure title widely available, the condition of the print is abominable. The movie is presented in fullscreen, and suffers from gatefloat during the first few reels, causing the picture to bounce up and down. The color is badly washed out. A scene in which Anne finds a raw half-eaten steak, showing the viewer that James still retains at least part of his vampiric nature, is rendered meaningless because the degraded print makes the meat appear cooked. Several jump cuts seem to indicate that Alpha's Video's version of the film is culled from an edited TV print. Both Video Search of Miami and Sinister Cinema carry the film, but I haven't seen either of those versions and can not comment on their quality or completeness.

In any case, Grave of the Vampire is past due for restoration and a high quality DVD release. Are you listening Anchor Bay, or perhaps Dark Sky Films?

Grave of the Vampire's entry at the Internet Movie Database

Free Comic Book Day, May 6, 2006

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'm not the comic book fanatic I once was, but sequential art still holds a special place in my heart. Some great stories have been told in this form. Tomorrow, Saturday May 6, 2006 is Free Comic Book Day, and "Free Comic Book Day" has got to be one of the coolest four word phrases that has ever been strung together. I grant you, "you don't have syphilis," and "that gun's not loaded" can be even cooler depending on the context. But free comics? That's tough to beat.

Comic book stores everywhere will be taking part in this joint promotional effort involving publishers, distributors, and retailers. Click on the graphic above to access the event's official website, then on May 6 get down to a comic store and wade your way through the geeks (of which I proudly count myself) and get a sampling of what the comics medium has to offer.

Trailer Trash

I find trailers fascinating. A trailer gives you a stronger feel for the period in which it was made than the film itself. You can usually nail down a trailer's vintage within a few years just from the narrator's voice.

So here's some moldy oldie trailers from www.youtube.com. Cool site. Look around while you're there.

Deathdream - Although for this trailer the film is known by its original title Dead of Night.

Mario Bava's excellent Black Sabbath.

Rats, directed by Vincent Dawn (a.k.a. Bruno Mattei). This is the film that dares tell the truth: after the apocalypse we will all be badly dubbed.

And finally that classic example of family values in the 1970's Dr. Butcher M.D.

Look! Up in the sky...

Although I don't read nearly as many comics as I once did, I've still got enough geek in me to think this trailer is seriously cool. That classic John Williams score, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, and of course some kick ass flying effects. Richard Donner's Superman remains one of my favorite films of all time, and Christopher Reeve's bright red boots make for big shoes to fill, but I WANT to believe a man can fly.

Oh Crap! He's Calling Collect!

This trailer for Andrew Leman's feature length adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's Call of Cthulhu is spellbinding. Produced in the style of a silent film, and set in the period in which the story was written, Leman's film appears to display a dreamlike quality that would be perfect for Lovecraft's work. I have to see this.

The Call of Cthulhu at The Internet Movie Database.

Salad Fingers

If you are not yet familiar with David Firth's inspired, insane, and downright disturbing Flash cartoon "Salad Fingers," then you should haul ass to the links below:

• Episode 1: "Spoons"
• Episode 2: "Friends"
• Episode 3: "Nettles"
• Episode 4: "Cage"
• Episode 5: "Picnic"
• Episode 6: "Present"
• Episode 7: "Shore Leave"

I myself will never caress a rusty kettle the same way again.

You can also link directly to David's main page where you can find more cartoons and coolness.

Silent Hill (2006)

"A mother is God in a child's eyes."

Little Sharon DaSilva (Jodelle Ferland, who could easily pass for a young Kristin Kreuk) has developed a sleepwalking problem. One night after being narrowly rescued from a shear cliff by her mother Rose, Sharon mutters the words "Silent Hill." This is only one in a long line of similar incidents, and Rose is determined to get to the root of her adopted daughter's troubles. Against the wishes of her husband Chris, Rose takes Sharon to Silent Hill, a town that was abandoned in the early 1970's because of a massive subterranean coal fire, a fire which still continues to burn.

Upon reaching the town, Rose sees a child in the road and, swerving to avoid her, crashes the car, knocking herself unconscious. When she wakes up Sharon is missing and the air is filled with a haunting blizzard of ashes. Rose sets out on foot into Silent Hill to find her daughter. The town seems deserted at first, but Rose soon crosses paths with an old crone who has also lost a daughter, a motorcycle cop named Laurie, and several nightmarish beasties of varying description. Periodically a siren will sound, signalingng the coming of both the darkness and the hellspawn that lurks within that darkness.

The track record for films based on video games is not an impressive one. When we see Rose memorizing a map or collecting a clue that she inexplicably knows will lead her to Sharon, I feel like I'm being clubbed with a baseball bat that has "based on a video game" etched into the wood. Is it necessary for films of this type to duplicate the structure of gameplay? I recall having similar issues with Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and I just find the practice distracting.

Given Silent Hill's video game roots, I was not surprised that this is a visually striking film. Unlike a lot of CGIed to death movies (the remake of The Haunting springs to mind), Silent Hill's computer generated effects work very well. The creatures are horrific and the town is ominous and forbidding. The atmosphere is the film's biggest star.

What ultimately damages the film is the one dimensional characters. Rose is a determined mother, Sharon is an angelic innocent, and Laurie is a dedicated officer of the law, but none of them have any depth beyond their basic definitions. The atmosphere and monsters are top notch, but without worthwhile characters it's hard to care about the film as a whole. Gaming and horror buffs will enjoy it, but I can't see it having mass appeal.

Silent Hill's official website
Silent Hill's entry at the Internet Movie Database

THE END IS NIGH!...for the Masters of Horror DVD Giveaway

Time is running out to win a copy of John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns. All entries must be received before midnight on May 3, 2006. Click here for details.